Banana Fetish
by RainbowAngst
Summary: Warnings include: KH references, 300 references, FemDom references, BDSM references... a bunch of references. Nothing actually offensive happens, except for uncensored swearing. DHr pairing, set in third year. Enjoy, and check out our homepage!


((WARNING: WE DON'T OWN HARRY POTTER IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM!!!! Anyway, this story is a little short, sorry about that, we kind of ran out of steam. Please request something - we're fresh out of ideas.))

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It was a strange evening. The sound of Hermione's loud slap resounded through the courtyard, like Roxas' incessant and whiny voice. Crabbe, Goyle, Ron and Harry stared at the two, Malfoy's head bent to the left, and Hermione's right hand over her left shoulder. The four bystanders just sort of... edged away, and left the two alone, to work out their dispute.

Hermione whispered to the cowering blonde ferret in front of her, so like Donald Duck, "You little bitch! Hagrid totally owns your soul LOL! You suck. You should just be tied up and never ever ever let out."

Malfoy, who slowly still couldn't believe what happened in the first place, smirked at Hermione's words. "Yeah. And you'd probably like it, like the sick mudblood whore you are. "

Hermione smirked back at the boy in front of her, who was as naive as Sora. "Oh Malfoy, Malfoy, Malfoy. You have no idea what you're asking for," she said, eyes flashing, "You've never beaten me at anything, and you sure won't start now."

Malfoy, not knowing what he was in store for couldn't help but begin to laugh. A lot. "LOL I'm way hotter then you. Therefore I pwn."

Hermione couldn't help but smile her sick twisted smile that would even make Xemnas run for his life, as she pulled out a set of handcuffs from her front pocket. Malfoy stopped in mid laugh and looked at the lockable device, then back at the now-frighteningly happy Hermione.

With a speed that would make Larxene jealous, Hermione managed to chain Malfoy's hands behind his back, and, with another pair of conveniently located handcuffs she pulled out from... well anyway, she chained his ankles up too, and then calf tied him, effectively restraining his movements. "Wingardium Leviosa," she chanted, and Malfoy rose into the air. "You're my bitch now Draco. That's B-I-T-C-H, got it memorized?"

Malfoy looked down from his invisible prison. "You're a madman! This is madness!"

Hermione glared at him, fire in her eyes, "Madness? This isn't madness! THIS! IS! SPARTAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!! And my chance to finally try out my new whip that I purchased from Fred and George's shop! They don't sell just magic tricks, you know..."

"Those blood-traitors? Why am I not surprised that they're secret rapists?"

"Not rapists, you freak. Now quit stalling. It's whipping time ;D"

Draco reached a sickly pale, much like that of Riku. "You're not serious, are you Mudblood? You're just fucking around, right?"

"When am I ever fucking around? No pun intended, of course. You know, the longer you stall, the longer I'll torture you. " Hermione's eyes lit up, much like a house lights up in flames after coming in contact with Axel.

"Oh noes, plz do not torture pur lil me Hermz!!1 i wills no b bad evah again!!1" Draco cried, much like audiences cry after they are forced to listen to Demyx play his sitar.

"Oh, my little bitch. I'm going to hurt you. And you're going to like it. Oh, you may call me your master. You'll need to scream out something..." With that being said, Hermione pushed Malfoy to the ground and handcuffed him forcefully. She grabbed the top of his pants and began to tug when suddenly...

"Miss Granger, what do you think you are doing to young Mr. Malfoy?" a cold voice behind them drawled.

Hermione stiffened and stood up, turning around to look at her Professor sheepishly, "It's not what you think sir..."

But when she saw which professor it was, she froze and turned a ghastly shade of white. "Oh...Snape. It's you." She gulped.

Snape smirked and looked up and down Malfoy who was lying on the ground and back at Hermione. "You know. I've always hated that little fucker. Glad to see someone finally showed him some manners."

Hermione burst out in a happy smile, "So, you're going to let me turn him into my bitch?"

"Yes. Of course it is. That's all he his after all. A little white bitch." Snape smiled in a way that would make people cower in fear and he...skipped away. Leaving White Bitch Malfoy and Hermione to themselves.

Hermione succeeded (spelling LOL) in pulling the pants and undergarments off of Malfoy. "Spread em'." She said in a fierce manner, gesturing towards his legs while holding a banana. (XD I'm sorry for giving you horrible images. Anyway.) Malfoy whimpered, and reluctantly did what he was told, hoping it would all be over soon.

Meanwhile, Ron, and Harry were sitting in a small patch of grass a little while away. "When do you think Hermione's going to figure out that we know about her BDSM fetish?"

"I dunno," Harry said pensively, lying down in the grass, "But I just hope that she doesn't make us watch bondage videos..."

Ron shuddered. "Yeahhh. After last time, I think I've had enough. You know, I knew bestiality existed...But it's just not something you're effected with fully until you see it for yourself..."

Harry sat up. "Oh I KNOW. It's not as bad as that snuff film that she and Voldemort did a collab in with that Muggle from England..."

"Pity."

And so, as Malfoy was busy submitting to the amused Hermione, Ron and Harry continued on with their great discussion of taboo BDSM homemade sex tapes.


End file.
